Zoinks! Jinkies! ...and Scooby Snacks

Tummy time can go one of two ways in ths house. Either I put Drew on his little Buddha belly and he is giggly... or I lay him down and he screams like the world is coming to an abrupt end and he doesn't even get one last diaper change. How tragic for him.

So, I have been taking advantage of the boppy, since it missed out on the breastfeeding non-adventures. He likes the boppy, which is awesome. But for the last week... without fail... he has managed to ARMY CRAWL himself up over the boppy and like, a foot across the floor. It takes awhile, and usually ends with him frustrated... but seriously? He hasn't even rolled over yet! He's only 11 weeks! It is amazing to watch. He systematically wiggles one leg/arm, then the other. And he grunts and groans like a fat man in a pie eating contest the whole time too. But then... at the very end... he lifts up his head and smiles. My baby is a genius.



Afterwards I put him in his crack-swing, so I can get 45 minutes to pee, shower, and eat. I love baby crack. The swing, the tv, and our curtains rustling in a breeze (ok, rustling because the ceiing fan is on high) all fascinate him to no end. THANK YOU, ELECTRICITY!

He has also discovered his hands can DO things. Namely, pull out his oxygen and feeding tubes. Its gotten so bad we have started swadding him at night again. He also tries holding his bottle by himself. Which would be cute if he could. but he can't so he just gets angry.

AND, he is starting to sleep straigt through the night! I didn't get up with him at all from 11pm-8:45am last night! Yay for sleep!

In other news, Justin and I are very excited to say we have worked out our summer visitation and will be getting Parker from mid-July to the beginning of September. To prepare ourselves, I bought 2 new Scooby movies, a Scooby coloring book, and some "big kid" sippy cups. Yeah, as long as that little dude is around, its a Scooby-fest. He lives for Scooby. Or, as he calls him, "Booby-doo."

Ooops, I hear the call of my slave driver. AKA, Drew has woken up from the crack-swing induced nap.

We have progress!

YAY!

So, Thursday May 20th Drew had his 6week follow up with his pulminologist after being discharged from JHH. We loaded up the car, and headed to Baltimore. I drove, so of course Justin and I started fighting before we even got there. He is such a back seat driver when I know what I'm doing, and he falls asleep when I get lost. LOL.

Anywho, so we got there 5 minutes late after I had gotten all turned around (it wasn't in the main hospital, it was about 4 blocks away). They took us right back to vitals. Drew is 11 pounds and 7oz, and 22.5inches long. He is HUGE! I can't believe how much he is growing!!!

The pulminary fellow (no, not man. Fellow. As in she is doing her fellowship) came back to talk to us. We discussed how he was doing, and our concerns. She asked us about a billion questions, and had me fill out a "1 is none of the time, 5 is all of the time" questionairre about how Drew's condition is effecting my life as his care taker. Then she left the room to go talk to Dr. McGlinchy.

Insert battle royale here. Justin and I don't necessarily see eye to eye on Drew's progress. He has severe asthma (he technically died once from it) and has seen a pulmiologist for years. Ergo, he believes himself quite the expert. But I am home with Drew more, ad see different things. I.e, less episodes during the day (when I am home) and them really only occurring at night (when Justin is there to see them). Hence you can see why he thinks they happen all the time. But, he has taught me some things about breathing to look out for, so all in all, our knowledge combined makes us a good team.

So, Dr. McGlinchy and the fellow came back in (I swear I can't remember her name) to talk to us again. It was decided that we would take Drew off the apnea monitor, as it was alarming even when he was obviously breathing. However, they are changing the settings on his pulse oximeter to alarm at 90 now instead of 80, so it will be much more sensitive. He will remain on a 1/4 liter of oxygen via nasal canula, and of course, on his feeding pump as well. He will go back in August for another sleep study, and they are reviewing his LAST sleep study another time to see if he needs an MRI.

They also decided he has "silent reflux" which means even though he doesn't throw up/spit up, the reflux is still happening. So, we have started him on Zantac. Oh joy.

I am soooooo happy that we are heading in the right direction though! One machine down, and 3 to go! I cannot wait!!!

And on a side note, I am looking up plane tickets now to get Parker up here for the summer! And, today is Justin's, Jason's (his twin), and Isaiah (our nephew's) birthdays. So, a Happy 25th to the olders, and a Happy 1st to the younger! Love you all! Life is good :)

Mother's Day

Sunday, May 9, 2010 was my first Mother's Day. I got to spend the entire day with Drew, my parents, and my little sister (and her boyfriend). It was a very nice, relaxing day. We went to church, then had a little barbecue at my parent's house (Justin had to work all day).

I knew I wasn't getting a gift from Drew (erm, Justin. Drew doesn't have a job) but I was okay with that. We have more important things to be putting our money towards. But it really made me sit down and think: what is a mother?

The first definition I came across was "a term for the person having authority, status, and function as the female parent." Oh, okay, well thanks for clearing that up, Dictionary.com. The next was "someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over someone else." Much better. But how does this pertain to me?

I carried Drew for 9 months. And to be honest - while I loved him - I never really felt a "real" connection to him during that time. I loved every kick, and every hiccup... but it hadn't set in that it wasn't a cheeseburger but a baby in there. Then I went into labor. With every contraction I panicked a little more. I have to have a lisence to drive (and to be honest, I'm not even very good at that)... but they will just let me leave the hospital with a little, real PERSON?! Are you kidding me? How do you know I am equipped to handle that?! When I was told I was being rushed in for a c-section, I cried for MY lost experience. When I woke up and was told Drew had been taken to the NICU, I was kind of numb about it (although in my defense, I was high on morphine). But when I held that tiny little guy in my hands, I suddenly knew. This was it. This is where I was supposed to be. Through all the ups and downs of the hospitals visits, and through all the stresses that Justin and I face, I know that its all worth it.

I find myself a new person. The kind of person who adapts a Mickey Mouse-esque voice whenever I am trying to get my baby to smile. The kind of a person who can talk about a baby's bowel functions for an hour, and be proud and happy when he lets out a particularly big fart after a day of tummy troubles that left him cranky. The kind of person who can't think of a lullaby at 4am, so she paces the hallway singing "The Song That Doesn't End" (yeah, that happened last night).

All of my expectations of motherhood flew out the window the day Drew was born. And again when he was finally released from Hopkins. All I know now is that I am the kind of person who will put NOTHING before my son.

And thats the kind of person I want to be.

I had a plan...

That's right. I had a plan. I didn't plan to get pregnant, but when I found out I was, Justin and I sat down, and created a plan. We were going to have our healthy baby boy. We were going to use our wonderful tax return to take a vacation, pay off some bills, and have a nice nest egg. We were going to have a happy laid back life.

I read on another blog that if you want to hear God laugh, to tell him your plans.

How true is that? There is no real way I could have planned for this. I don't get my vacation, or my nest egg. The whole tax return went towards medical supplies, and Drew's hospital stay, and trying to stay afloat. My perfect baby - who is still perfect in my opinion - is not easy, or laid back. He requires every drop of my energy and attention. I have not even read a chapter in a book since he was born in one sitting. I barely eat (and still haven't lost all my baby weight -ugh) and peeing is like an olympic event - how fast can I get it in? I still have to turn on his feeding pump every 3 hours, and I haven't slept straight through a night in 9 weeks.

But you know what? I don't care. I had a friend tell me this past weekend that she looks up to me. It touched me, but it baffles me at the same time. Yes, my life is a little crazy. Yes, I've had to learn how to insert feeding tubes, and use apnea monitors. I've spent hours checking the levels of oxygen tanks, and watching his pulse ox levels drop into danger zones. But I don't know any different. And even if I did... would that change things? I don't think it would. And I don't think any of you would do anything any differently.

Yeah, my plans might have changed. Now I only plan one day at a time, and just hope to make it through without any major events. Now my whole plan revolves around keeping Drew healthy. It might be a crazy life, but its OUR life. And I love it. And thats all I care about.

We moved!

Man, life has been hectic! We moved this past week, from VA to MD. Its put us about 10 min from Justin's work, and about 30 from JHH. Both are blessings :)

Drew has really been doing well! We have finally gotten everything situated with the medical supply company, and Drew is thriving! At his last appointment, he was up 2 pounds from his discharge weight. 2 pounds in 2 weeks - not bad! I just hope that he's evening out now, cuz if he keeps up at that rate, I'll have biceps that put The Hulk to shame!

Going to my appointment next week to discuss IUDs. I see it as the only option, I never remember to take pills, and shots don't appeal to me. Neither does fishing a plastic ring out of my vag every 3 weeks. So here we are. AND, as a kicker, I got my first post-partum period last night. Now, there is something I haven't missed.

I also joined a weight-loss program. 17 pounds to go til pre-baby weight, and 26 til pre-Justin weight (hey, we enjoy eating out. A LOT.)!!!!! I am hoping to get into a bikini at least ONCE this summer. We'll see. :)

One week down!

Wow! The first week at home has FLOWN by. I cannot even believe it!

Justin and I are adjusting. Its weird, we went through a period after Drew was born where we were parents... but now that he's home, I'm a MOM. I don't know how to say the two are different, but they are. :)

Drew had a really good week. He's adjusting well, and gained a whole pound his first week home! YAY! We have also finally gotten everything we need from the medical supply company.

He had his first post-JHH pediatrician visit. He's doing well, and right on track. Yay!

Now, we've had such an incredibly difficult time with his machines at home. His apnea alarm goes off even when he is clearly breathing, his pulse ox isn't sensitive enough to pick up his respiratory rate, and forget me going out in public on my own. Four machines and a stroller? Yeah right. Justin and I went to the bank on Thursday, and even with the two of us, it was a joke.

Drew was also really constipated this week. Oh, that was a trial. He just yelled and yelled. Pedi said 1/2oz prune juie with 1/2oz water. You wouldn't (or maybe would) believe the opinions I have heard from other mothers about how babies aren't supposed to drink either. Its not like I'm giving him a bottle full! And besides, its what his DOCTOR said. So, shove it. He's finally pooing normally again, but is still really gassy. Hello, Mylicon!

In other news, its moving week! We will be out of our apartment on Thursday. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Big adjustments ahead!

Whirlwind Part 2

Well, things have been NUTS!

Justin and I were woken up to a phone call Thursday morning from the discharge nurse, asking what time we'd be in. We told her by 11am. Then we got a call from the medical supply company, asking what time we'd be back in VA, so they could drop off our equipment. We said by 4pm. We got up, showered, and went to go pick up our boy!

We got to the hospital, and Justin signed all the discharge paperwork, while I dressed Drew in his dinosaur coming-home outfit. Then we went over infant CPR, and the nurse said "ok, you can leave whenever you are ready! I am going to lunch, so I won't see you again!" YAY! We fed Drew, and were walking out of the room when...

Another nurse came running in, and told us the pediatric team was on their way down to see us, because his orders were changed last minute. WTF?! I pretty much just started crying, because I had a bad feeling. Sure enough, he failed his sleep study AGAIN, so they decided he aso needed to be sent home with an apnea monitor. And they could not get one delivered until Friday. Needless to say, we were both pretty upset.

We had already checked out of RMH, so we drove the long drive back to VA. Without our son. I can't describe the incredible heartbreak I feel every time I have left him. We went to bed, and woke up bright and early Friday to try again.

We got to the hospital, and they confirmed the apnea monitor and oxygen tank were on their way. They would be there by 1pm. 2:30 rolls around, and they are finally brought in. We hooked Drew up, put him in his Spiderman coming-home outfit (hey, the dinosaurs were dirty!) and at 4pm, finally pulled out of the JHH parking lot. With our son!

We got home, and let me tell you - it is a STRUGGLE to carry an infant, an oxygen tank, and an apnea monitor. And now, we get to add feeding pump to that list, because our rep showed up at our house! He brought Drew's feeding pump, enough medical equipment to last forever (ok, a month) and formula!

Oh wait... wrong formula. Way wrong formula. And we are missing a nasal cannula. And our full sized oxygen tank. And our NG tubes. So, he went back to the warehouse, and arrived at 1am (!) with our full sized oxygen tank. And... the wrong formula. And no nasal cannula. And no NG tubes. He said he's be back in the morning.

Well, Drew finally goes down at midnight. And his apnea monitor alarmed every 5-10 minutes throughout the night. I was in a dead panic (and am now dead tired), until 7am, when I realized we put his leads on backwards. Uhm, duh. Its only gone off twice since. ::Whew!::

We still don't have the correct formula. Apparently because its Enfamil 24/cal, its a "special order" so we will have to call the company (and not our rep) directly on Monday. Only, we only have enough formula to last til about 5am Sunday. I guess we will have to give him regular Enfamil from Walmart until Monday.

Well, he just woke up, so I have to run. But my boy is FINALLY home! :) :) :)